Year 8 SPAG feedback

CORRECT ALL THE MISTAKES IN THE FOLLOWING EXTRACTS


North Korea, a place guarded intensely by cold hearted soldiers who feel no shame or regrets in killing an intruder, this place was being attacked by activists who hoped to free the citizens of their depressions, however they were killed rapidly by the heartless security.

In a world ,where everything was upside down. A wicked man called Gabriel Brown was manufacturing what was called THE WORLD'S DANGEROUS WEAPON.

It had the best defences you could think off and it was all because of the king. 

It was a nightmare, I was the only one that realised the American where using some type of portal to drop these terrible bomb
The idea was to dangerous.Many innocent people will die.If anyone found out that the weapon exists they would use it in war and that will mean more innocent people will die,more land will be destroyed and more homes will be ruined.

U.S.A owned one of the most powerful bombs in the world, the nuclear bomb, its so powerful it can destroy a whole city.

a gust of wind that blew dust on my face, I closed my eyes instantly and came upon an old, and dusty sofa sitting in the corner of the room that I had just entered.
It shoots a twice as big, bullet than the BMG and has a quick pack system so you can conceal it between 5 people, all hiding the parts in civilian clothing or backpacks.

The toxic gases poised the water and created diseases that flew threw the air . He would spend the money on defenses , protecting the town from thieves but the soldiers who defended the city would suffer from terrible rashes that would turn their skin black .

 But what'd you expect from somebody with his position.

He was born in a successful family in a large village.His name was Henry.He lived free of trouble until he was about 12 years old, but at that point life changed.

It was a beautiful day in PlantVille.The luminous sun was shining in the bright blue sky.The colourful feathered birds sing in harmony as they fly between the trees.

Megan took the invention home and decided she didn't want the invention to be wasted and be thrown away so she went to the emperor and demanded he sale her invention in the shops.


We are at the year of 2259 were we have advanced our technology to a degree where we use it everyday.Done are the days of going outside.We are the point where everything is digital.

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